March 7th

Had an easy night in bed, but I was sore set on, yet I would blame myself. "My folly makes it so."



This is the end of Mr. Sinclair's highly interesting and instructive diary. The day after he penned these words he entered into his everlasting rest.

March 6th

Waking greater part of last night through wandering of mind away from the Fountain. I could like to be at Thurso Sacrament, but they are likely to grieve any tender ones by following the south country fashions, showing how silly they are, and how little they abide by the truth, or how little reproach they will stand for its sake.

March 5th

So far as I am able to judge, I am better. I put on my clothes without assistance, and feel a desire for food, but the swelling still remains. I had a nice quiet night, and oh, how refreshing! Thanks to Him who can give sleep, who delighteth in mercy as well as in holiness and justice. They cannot be seperated, nor wrought apart, but they all gloriously harmonise in Immanuel to the glory of the holy Majesty of heaven and earth. O! to be found walking in His love, with fear of offending or grieving His blessed Spirit.

March 4th

The doctors say I am improving. I do not find it much. My mind tends to prevent recovery. If it were at rest my body would be more at ease. But it truly terrifies me to find my foolish wanderings after mere confusion, and how little heeding the glorious things of the Gospel, wherein there is, "Glory to God in the highest, peace on earth, and goodwill to men." It is good that His heart, and not mine, is the repository of it. Dear William Elder will return home today, and other friends who were here over Sabbath. Dear Kitty M'Rae will remain some time, and be like a lovely dew from above to eyes with the scales off. We are much in want of living epistles. May they be raised up to put empty shadows to be esteemed as they ought. Oh, to see persons whom the Lord would work through, sanctified and meet for His use. Some cannot reconcile it with His declarative glory that He would make use of man or minister in our day to work His holy work. We have imbibed such worldly principles in religion, and will suffer so little for it. How very few are doing the work with power from on high?

March 3rd

Still very frail all over, and rest broken. I now observe there is much night and day crying recorded in the Scriptures, and many complaints of not being heard, and yet many mercies recorded. He seems to be doing more than He says in taking off the yoke, and in setting meat before them, in sufficing them with little, so that they are not utterly cast down, and not entirely cut off from hope. And still they feel so far off. But when they remember what He reveals Himself to be as Mediator, and what they have experienced in the past, it is not easy for unbelief to get standing. Many of their cries are against themselves, being all they can do to acknowledge how justly they are treated under His hiding. The roving of the vain mind also makes them cry, seeing how often they are taken up with vain trifling, instead of staying near the fountain of wisdom and grace. Lord, stay our minds on Thee, and may our meditations of Thee afford sweet thoughts.

March 1st 1884

This day, 34 years ago, my wife and I were married in this house by the Rev. William Taylor. We have to record great goodness and deliverance from many fears. We often gor our sackcloth loosed, and at the last moment were girded with gladness. We have eight sons and three daughters spared to us. Oh, may they plead for the life of their spirits, and be accepted in the Advocate. There are two grand-children in Texas. May they know the God of their fathers, and serve Him with a perfect heart, a heart with which he has dealt by enlightening and renewing it. May there be saving fruit to all eternity.

February 29th

Friends very kind and attentive. William Elder came down to see me today. He told me of dear Mr. Cowan's death. Be still, O my soul, and wonder.

February 26th

Still a monument of unmerited mercy, being longer so than some thought. I can say nothing now. Glad that the ever Blessed reigneth, and doeth according to the purpose of His ever blessed will. Well in the past, good at present, and a good hope through grace for the future. But yet mistrust will not hear a good report of His providence for the future. I have lacked nothing in my affliction that was truly required, and yet enjoyed nothing aright without His favour.