October 4th 1845

Busy all day, and nothing done for time or eternity. This evening, like last Saturday evening, I am very ill-prepared for a coming Sabbath and Sabbath School. The doctrine is that "God searcheth the heart," and if He searches my heart He will find no friend there, but a strong man armed set for war against Him. He will find no love to Himself, His Son, or Spirit, or to His people, cause, or glory on the earth; but He will find it full of self, every principle is actuated by it less or more. He will find no love for His Bible, for His ministers, or for the power of divine truth. He will not find the soul in the state in which He created it. He will find out all the secret thoughts about Himself, the desire that would wish to destroy Him if it were in my power, the secret love of sin, of breaking each of the commandments, and wishing there was no God to judge. But, on the other hand, if He has planted the smallest particle of His own grace in the heart, though it were almost hid with corruption, He will find it out and own it as His. O Lord, give the spirit to my class to search and show them their hearts, that they may flee to Thee for new ones. Do it Blessed One, and to Thy name be the praise.